I think a lot of you are familiar with the song “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran. It’s one of my favorites. Yet, at the same time it makes me kind of sad.
For those of you who are young, when you listen to this song you can only imagine what it will be like to be married when you are 70. But for me…my husband and I are actually living in the season of life that Ed Sheeran is singing about.
Here are a few snippets from the song.
“When your legs don’t work like they used to before, and I can’t sweep you off of your feet…will your mouth still remember the taste of my love, will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?”
“When my hair’s all gone and my memory fades, and the crowds don’t remember my name, when my hands don’t play the strings the same way, mm.. I know you will still love me the same.”
“Oh, me I fall in love with you every single day…”
“And darling I will be loving you ’til we’re 70, and baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23.”
My husband and I are just turning 61 and are very aware of how quickly 70 will come. While his hair has become grey, I force blonde. I can’t hear as well and he has a bit of arthritis. Neither of us can read without glasses. Somehow it happened and we have grown older. I have loved being married to that man and I pray that I did my best by him.
How is your marriage? Do you fall in love every day and every season of your life? How might you love your spouse different today than you did in the first year of your marriage? How have your expectations changed over the years?
Marriage wasn’t designed with the expectation that it is our spouse’s job to make us – happy. That just isn’t their job. Marriage is a climate ground that God uses to transform us and it helps us reach our spiritual goals. It provides opportunities where we can learn to compromise, extend grace, learn to respect, grow in wisdom, put someone else’s needs before our own, and to love with God’s love.
Marriage is designed to help us become reconcilers – over and over again. We will not reach reconciliation when we –
stuff our feelings
seek to control our spouse
criticize and condemn
are easily irritated
expect to be served
refuse to see another point of view
demand our way
When we are willing to submit our will to the Lord and to let go of our expectations, we have the unique opportunity to experience the joy of true reconciliation. Jesus died not only so that we could be reconciled to Him, but to each other.
Marriage isn’t about whether or not we chose the right person – it calls us to be the right person. It is an opportunity to multiply who we can become. In marriage, we can experience the miracle of two incompatible people becoming something amazing.
Are you loving your spouse as you did when you were “23”? When you look at your husband do your “eyes still smile from your cheeks?” Does your spouse know that he is the most important person in your life? Embrace your spouse and everything about him. Love him as Jesus calls us to love.
You can experience a full rich marriage…until you’re 70.
Lots of truth here. And for younger women struggling in their marriage, who may have serious dysfunction going on in their spouse or theirself, PLEASE, find an older woman who’s been married a while and has figured things out to walk alongside you. We are not meant to go through everything alone.
One of the nicest things about being at Jackie’s (and my) stage of marriage is that if you’ve learned the things on her list your hubby just could be your best friend.
Sandy this is so true. We have been there and done that and learned a few things along the way. But it is worth never giving up or calling it quits. There is nothing better than being married to your best friend – thanks for that, Sandy!