Today was my diagnosis day and it felt more like D-day to me. It was torturous. Wait…wait some more…and more waiting. So the impatient patient decided to make a call. Yep! These people are going to want me to hurry up and get well so they don’t have to deal with me!
Two months ago if someone had said to me …
“On July 25th you are going to be diagnosed with breast cancer”, I would have told them, “Oh, no. That is wrong. You see…nobody in my family has any kind of cancer.”
And if someone had said to me…
”You are going to have to go through a lot of procedures in the hospital”, I would have said to them, “Well, I can’t do that. I know that for sure.”
And if they went on to say…
”You will for sure have a mastectomy – possibly a double – and you might also have chemo and lose your hair”, I would have said to them, “Ahhhh… oh please, please no. I think that would be like going through a long dark tunnel….I would be so afraid…”
But today I say to you…
I am praising God that the breast cancer has not spread!!!!!! I’m praising God for JUST breast cancer!!!
I would not ever have imagined it would be possible to say such words.
Before they returned my impatient call, it was raining and thundering outside and I went to that dark place in my head thinking maybe God was foreshadowing what my diagnosis was going to be. (See – I’m crazy – that’s where I go…)
The diagnosis is not final, but it’s close enough for me. My new friend, Jeanne the nurse manager, went down the list – Ovaries – clear. Lungs – clear. Colon – clear. Bones – clear. There is no spread to other organs.
There are 5 lymph nodes still in question but oh well, and la-di-da. At this point I am in a fight against breast cancer – but I am not in a fight for my life. And I will FIGHT.
Friday I get my treatment plan so then I will finally get to work.
Over the past two weeks I have been blown away by the community of faith. I am not kidding. I have so many prayer warriors in my life and these are the kind of people who, when it comes to prayer, they roll up their sleeves and storm the gates of heaven. They pray tirelessly. (One friend of mine used that word and I loved it.) They are earnest and they are relentless.
Not only do these people pray – they gather up their fellow prayer warriors and suddenly I have people praying for me who I have never met in my life. That’s how the community faith is – we are family – even if we have never met. It’s absolutely beautiful and inspires me to pray with that kind of fervency .
”Pay in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” – Ephesians 6:18
And I imagined God and His heavenly angels almost chuckling saying “Whoa! Here’s another one praying for Jackie. And another…and another..and another…Wow. This is one pushy bunch!”
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
Today, right after I was telling my family the good news, we looked out the window and the sun was shining right through the dark clouds with bold and brilliant rays of light shining across the backyard.
And it seemed to me that God was saying to me, “See? I have been here all along. Right behind the clouds I have been here…even when you could not see me.”
I will keep you updated regarding my staging and treatments and I am challenging myself to blog all the way through this journey and keep at it long after the beast has been conquered. 🙂
Until next time,
Jackie, when I read your news I asked others what I can do to help.
Everyone said pray so praying for you now and continually is what I will do.
You, my old dear friend are always in my thoughts and prayers.
xo
Laura
That’s the best thing, Laura! Thank you so much!
We are so relieved Jackie, love you girl friend!
Do what you have to do to kill that cancer!
I plan to do just that! Thanks for your support, Lynnie!
Jackie,
Count on me as a prayer warrior for you and your family. Every day.
Melanie Hylok
Oh what a treat to hear from YOU! Ahhh…so many, many good memories of your family :). You just made my day, Melanie. In return, I have been doing my very best to lift up every person in prayer who has been contacting me. My list is long and and it’s beautiful. I don’t even know if you live around here anymore but I hope you are all doing well. Thank you so much for reaching out!!
I live exactly in the same place. Very close to you on Saxony Road. I love your blog. Just found out about it. I signed up!
Ohhhhh! Well hello again! And once I get my fanny back in gear we should go on some walks!!
Oh Jackie, I’m so glad to hear the cancer is contained! Those doctors know how to treat breast cancer. They’ve done it thousands of times. They know just what to do. Hang in there and know that I too am praying for you. Love you, Julie
JP – thank you! I am learning that there have been so many advancements over the years that the beast can be conquered! I might just have to do the Mother’s Day spring thing – and get my running shoes out to help raise money for breast cancer. Ahhh…now that would mean I have to get some running gear and get in my rear in shape also and I plan to do JUST THAT. Love you, my friend!
Jackie, You . Are. Amazing. Do you know that?! I absolutely LOVE reading your beautifully crafted words. What a gift you have snd God is using your gift so beautifully. Do you know what? When I was just receiving my diagnosis and my treatment plan about this point where you are I had a bad cold and even perhaps a little touch of the flu. I can’t really remember just your typical crummy malaise middle of the winter time upper respiratory type stuff. I didn’t feel great but I wasn’t awful either. I remember my oncologist telling me as I was worried about the upcoming chemo-I remember his words: he said: “ you won’t feel much worse than you do right now. “ And I thought to myself well I can handle this. And you know what I never forgot that and Yep some days were kind a crummy but there were many many days when I didn’t even know I was on chemo. God will lead you through this my dear and you will look back upon this experience and be a beautiful shining new Jackie filled with light And stronger faith ! You go girl! You’ve got all us prayer warriors storming the gates of heaven for you and you have the best physician ever-Jesus 💕💕💕💕👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I love that, Martha. I am hearing so many stories of medical advancements for cancer that help the journey to be less miserable than in the old days. On another note, for years I have heard amazing victory stories about the Comfort Club and I kind of wished I could go and just sit in a corner to hear the stories and conversation. Welll…I got my wish! I will be seeing more of you very soon!