Since my cancer diagnosis,  a lot of people have asked me questions such as, “If God is so good, how could He allow this to happen?”  Or “Why does God allow bad things to to happen to good people?”

I will address the second question first – I am not any better than anyone else so let’s be straight about that.  I’m not that good.  And also – God loves everyone – good, bad, kinda’ good, and kinda’ bad and I don’t think that He thinks in those terms.

Secondly, why does God allow bad things?  That’s easy – because it’s just life.  We are living in a fallen world and bad things are going to happen.  In fact, Jesus warns us about this in John 16:33 –

”I have told you this so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrow.  But take heart, I have overcome the world.”

Notice in that verse Jesus says…you WILL have trials.  He didn’t say IF.

Since we are living on earth and not in heaven, we know there will be trials.  Jesus never promised us a trouble free life.  But in Romans 8:28 He tells us what happens when believers endure trials.. and this has been proven true in my life.

”All things work together for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.” 

So what good could possibly come from a cancer diagnosis??

This morning my friend texted me just to check in and see how I am doing and I said to her, “Lori, God is closer than ever.  I am being healed through cancer.”

Sounds crazy, I know.  But its true.  The cancer that I detest has been a forerunner to my healing season.

I am being healed of old things – my past sins, mistakes, and failures. And I am being healed from old wounds – lies I have believed about myself, broken relationships, hurts from the past, and guilt that didn’t belong to me.  I am healing from areas of bitterness that I have been carrying around for too long.

 My entire life I have been caught in the bondage of gaining – losing – and gaining weight again and again. (This is the moment when a blogger doesn’t love being a blogger because this stuff is embarrassing but hey!  I am 61 and battling cancer so – whatever.)  But now, for the first time in my life, I am focusing only on taking care of myself (instead of fitting into a pair of jeans) and the numbers on the scale are inching down, down, down, without me thinking much about it at all.  That is a heavenly sort of freedom for me.

I am finding healing in new relationships that God has brought into my life. And  I see clearly how God had already redeemed my broken past through my wonderful family and my closest circle of friends. There are so many things I see now…that I could never see before.

Cancer may have knocked me to my knees, but that position brought me to an utter dependency on the Lord as never before.  Instead of breaking me, it has revived my faith. 

 The chains of my past are being unshackled.

I have been keeping a list of the things that I am learning about God – and about me – on this journey and I have all kinds of blogs just waiting to be written.  I don’t know…maybe it could offer someone much younger than me some hope and maybe it might help you to become completely free much sooner than it has happened for me.  So please stay tuned.

I am leaving soon for my radiation treatment. (The cancer slang word for that is rads.) I am praying that I can hold my breath long enough to keep my chest wall away from my heart and lungs.  Not sure what happened to my lung capacity from my days of synchronized swimming but 25 seconds almost KILLS me.

I am feeling upbeat about this journey knowing that wherever it takes me, God will continue to work things out for my GOOD and for HIS glory.

My God has been good to me. 

”See?  I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up in you; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

– Isaiah 43:19